1.74 - Asteroids
I’ve been on ships that were shot at while landing or taking off. That’s nothing out of the ordinary for some missions. I can say I’ve never been on a ship that’s flying through space at full speed as it’s pursued under fire. I’m strapped in but my body is being flung in all directions. Everyone else seems to have a role to play in defense but I’m useless. Sicker than the first time I went through a bangbepunkt. I’m just swallowing hard, trying to keep the vomit down. Focusing on the burning sensation of stomach acid on my throat as everyone else shouts information between their battle stations. Hollow booms echo as The Pariah returns fire. The sound of thunder shakes the ship with each blow that it takes. This isn’t a movie. There’s no losing them in warp speed. Even if there were a Hafengdan near by jumping through in the middle of a dog fight would mean certain death for everyone. It’s kill, or be killed. Maybe we get blasted and survive in an escape pod but I don’t think I’ve seen one on the ship. They’re living on the edge.
There’s shouting at the front. Disagreement about what to do before something large crashes into the ship. It’s not like gunfire. Even if the shields had deteriorated, gunfire wouldn’t shake the ship like this. Another pounding sound and the ship rattles. Silence falls over the crew; some kind of tense situation my mind isn’t reading. Shots are no longer being flung back and forth. A few more ship rattling collisions and we start to slow. In the initial quiet, nobody speaks to each other. Just deep breaths, an occasional glance, and the occasional mutterings of what seems to be a prayer from Nastas.
“What’s going on,” I ask.
“Janet has chosen the best escape for us is through an asteroid belt,” Edan responds with none of his usual excitement or even sarcasm. It’s a voice reserved for serious situations. A voice for when he needs to be the captain of his crew and not their friend. I don’t answer as another asteroid scrapes the side of the ship. The sound of metal crunching and stone dragging across it pains my ears but nobody else flinches.
I just close my eyes and wait for this to be over. Fleeing through an asteroid belt isn’t unheard of. It’s just stupid, something a military ship would never do. I’m trying to keep a calm exterior to show that I’m not worried. I don’t know if Janet is a good pilot, if she does this all the time, or even if I could trust her skill. Inside, my heart is pounding and I’m gripping my safety harness to prevent my hands from shaking out of control.
The crew of The Pariah remains in complete silence, not even uttering an affirmation to Janet as she pilots us threw. None of them look too worried, staring at wristcomps or leaning just enough to gaze into the pilot's nest and watch Janet at work. The feelings of adrenaline and mission going south are all too common. It wasn’t long ago when I was on Xioshaa walking hand and hand with death. I’ve got scars and a metal arm to prove it. But this is different. In the military, you just die or you’re held as a prisoner of war and eventually given back or rescued. But with this, I might die, smashed into nothingness like the rest of the junk that litters asteroid belts. Even worse I could end up in prison, an accomplice to whatever charges the crew has gained.
“And we’re clear,” Janet speaks.
I breathe a sigh of relief but everyone else acts as if this is just a daily occurrence. I need to go back. I can’t do the farm life, but this is not the life for me either. Fleeing from threats of death, fine. Even fleeing capture, fine. But everything has been a risk. I’ve been drugged, ambushed, dragged into a warehouse raid and helped fence stolen goods. I can’t do this.
“Need a drink,” Edan asks.
“Yeah,” I answer without hesitation.
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